


The Monster at the End of the Story

by thisgirlsays22



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, EreriWritingPrompt4, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisgirlsays22/pseuds/thisgirlsays22
Summary: Levi’s son is afraid of the Titans, so he tells him a fairy tale. But stories can open old wounds.





	The Monster at the End of the Story

The oil from the lantern burned low, but Levi would make it to the end of this story before he lost the last of the light. He was enjoying the book, a translated edition of popular fables originating from Hizuru, but the truth was his son--who didn’t realise that he’d been spotted peering in at Levi from the entrance to the study--enjoyed the tales far more.

“I wonder,” Levi began without looking up from the book, “if there is a ghost in this house.”

There was a small gasp where Ryo’s shadowed figure lurked.

Levi smiled to himself. “Perhaps if I offer it a cup of cocoa and a story it’ll leave us in peace.”

Quiet.

“Perhaps, if the ghost reveals itself to be a child that should be asleep, I might still make it a cup of cocoa.”

“And tell it a story?”

“And tell it a story,” Levi affirmed.  

Ryo came out of hiding, a sheepish smile on his face. He took his usual seat in the window nook, legs dangling off the edge, and his dark hair fell in front of his eyes. He’d need another cut soon, Levi noted. Hadn’t he just had one?

“Don’t,” Levi warned as Ryo’s thumb moved towards his lips. “You’re not a baby anymore.”

Chastised, Ryo let his hand fall, and stared out the open window, up at the crescent moon. He liked to follow the patterns of the moon, loved stars and constellations. A sweet and thoughtful child; Levi softened. The traumas Ryo had faced before he came into their lives were unknown quantities, but Levi understood too well the scars and life-long habits such things could lead to. Better Ryo master his bad habits now than be cursed to bear them longer than necessary.

Levi scanned the final pages of _The Bamboo-Cutter and the Moon-Child._ Mikasa had mentioned this was one of her favorites in the book when she’d last visited. She’d even underlined a few passages in pencil and scribbled in the margins, which Levi found distracting but sweet. 

When finished, he went to the kitchen to make Ryo’s cocoa, and tea for himself. When it had cooled enough, he handed the drink to Ryo. “Careful not to spill.”

They made their way up the stairs more by habit, and the memory of each creak in the floorboard, than by the dim light of the lamp.

Levi heard a soft splash behind him and a whispered, “Oh no.”

He turned, and saw Ryo gaping at the steps where a bit of the hot chocolate had sloshed over the side of the mug. Stricken, Ryo froze and stared up at Levi in fear.

“Are you alright?” His expression filled Levi with worry. But it shouldn’t have been hot, and Ryo hadn’t cried out in pain.

Ryo shook his head, cowering away from Levi as though he expected a lash to come at any moment. His voice was small when he said, “Yes, I didn’t get any on me.”

Levi’s stomach twisted. Even after a year of living with them, he still scared so easily.

“It’s alright,” Levi said gently. “Get into bed, and I’ll clean it up. Walk slowly, though. In case it’s still too hot.”

Levi retrieved a rag from under the bathroom sink and set about wiping up the step. Had he somehow been too harsh with Ryo? Had his casual, “Careful not to spill” come out more forcefully than intended? He wiped the stairs down harder than he needed to, continuing even after the traces of liquid were gone.

When he was done, he headed into Ryo’s room, stumbling over a stray shoe. He bit back his reflexive, “Where do shoes belong?” and kicked it to the side, careful that the motion went unnoticed. He didn’t want to upset Ryo again.  

Ryo had climbed into his bed and was clutching his teddy bear to his chest. Levi decided to try a game Eren had started.

“Can you help me find the candles?” Levi asked, pretending to look around the room in confusion. “I can’t remember where Eren put them.”

“Yes! There’s one over there on the bookshelf.”

Levi pretended to look on the floor in front of the shelf.

Ryo laughed and fell back against his pillows. "Not there! By the sea shells."

"Oh, there it is," Levi said in mock-surprise, pointing to the shelf where they kept all the trinkets Hanji and Armin bought Ryo from their travels. Conch shells, an impressive shark tooth, clusters of purple amethyst, and a menagerie of carved animal figurines.

“Is that the only one?” Levi asked. “I could have sworn there were more.”

“There’s one on the table too.” Ryo pointed with his teddy bear.  

“There’s no candle underneath the table,” Levi said.

“No _on_ the table, silly!”

“Ah. Of course. How foolish of me.” Levi lit the candle on the craft table in the center of the room, bathing the mermaids, bubbles, and brightly colored fish that Eren had stenciled along the ocean-blue walls in a soft glow.

“Any others?”

Ryo nodded. “By the bed. _Not_ under it.”

“Thank you for specifying.”

Finally, Levi lit the candle on the bedside table and settled into the armchair by the bed.

"Did you already know where they were?" Ryo asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

“I hadn’t a clue,” Levi said.  

Ryo looked skeptical, but let the subject rest. Though he rubbed at his eyes and yawned, he said, “What story are you going to tell me?”

“Mikasa found one she thought you would like,” Levi said. Mikasa was Ryo’s favorite.

“She did?”

“Mhm.”

“Is it better than the scary one?” Ryo held his bear tighter.

Levi made a disgusted sound. _The Farmer and the Badger_ had started innocently enough until the malicious badger murdered the farmer’s wife and cooked her. If that wasn’t sufficiently horrifying to a child, a ‘friendly’ rabbit then tortured and killed the badger on the farmer’s behalf. That had made for an abrupt conclusion to that night’s story time and taught Levi a valuable lesson about following Mikasa’s recommendations.

Now they told...adjusted, summarised versions of the stories, leaving out the parts too disturbing for a six year old who already struggled to sleep through the night. Between Ryo, Eren, and Levi, it was a wonder anyone in this household slept a wink.  

“Much better,” he assured. Levi took a deep breath and prepared his best tale-telling voice. “Many years ago, there was an older couple who couldn’t have children. The husband was a bamboo cutter, and one day when he was out cutting bamboo he came upon a tiny child. About the size of my thumb.” Levi held up his thumb.

“The baby was the size of your thumb?” Ryo gave Levi a dubious look.

“Yes.”

“And babies come from bamboo?”

“Fu--fudge no. Women have babies, but that’s not important to this story.”

“Okay.” He furrowed his brow. “But you didn’t find me in bamboo?”

“No. You know you were at the orphanage before you came here.”

Ryo’s hair fell in front of his eyes again, and Levi reached over to brush it back. People said they looked like one another. Eren said it all the time in a way Levi found embarrassing, all dopey and earnest.    

“I don’t remember when you found me.”

“Good. It was awkward.” How did you explain an event where you were made to feel like you were both shopping and auditioning for a child? "There was a party that our friend Historia threw. She wanted a chance for children who had lost their parents to meet people who wanted to be parents." It had been hosted at the palace, an uncomfortable experience for everyone.

Ryo screwed his eyes shut and shook his head. "I still don't remember. Did you like me?"

"Well, you're here now, aren't you?"

Ryo smiled and nodded.

"Shall I get back to the story then?"

"Okay."

“Here goes, then. The bamboo cutter brings the child home, and he and his wife are happy they finally have a kid. To top it all off, the bamboo cutter finds gold in the bamboo.”

“How did the gold get there?”

Levi waved a hand. “You find that out later. It’s not important now. What’s important is that they’re all happy, and because their daughter is so beautiful everyone starts calling her Princess Moonlight. Also, now she’s a regular person and not the size of a thumb anymore.” That had been a strange detail, Levi thought. Why the fuck was she the size of a thumb and then suddenly the size of a normal child?

“Excuse me,” Ryo interjected. “This is kind of boring.”

Levi appreciated the polite but brutal honesty. It was a shame Eren wasn’t awake; he likely would have made shadow puppets in the candlelight to make Ryo laugh.  

“Then go to sleep.”

“I still want a story. This one’s boring, though.”

“It’s a long story,” Levi admitted. “What do you want me to do then?”

“Can you skip to the end?”

Skipping all the shit about the suitors and the wild goose chase Princess Moonlight sent them on for no damn reason suited Levi fine. The ending was what he liked about this story, and it didn’t end with a vengeful rabbit drowning a badger.  

So Levi skipped to the end. “Eventually, the Emperor falls in love with Princess Moonlight. Her father tries to convince Princess Moonlight to give him a chance, but she refuses.”

“Why?”

“The princess reveals that soon her true family will return for her. She really is the princess of the moon, and she has to go to her rightful home." As he said the words he knew this would lead them down another odd path. He could see the gears turning in Ryo’s head.

"Levi, are my real parents on the moon?"

He should have anticipated the personal connections Ryo might start making. This story had been a mistake. At least _The Farmer and the Badger_ had only led to questions like, “Why aren’t you finishing the story?”

"I don’t know where your parents are, but Eren and I will look after you now." It had been over a year and he still stumbled over the words. They sounded strange to his ears, felt strange coming from his lips, the way it might feel to suddenly find that you'd woken up speaking a different language.

“That’s good. You're both really nice.”

“You’re...nice too.” Levi cleared his throat. “Do you want the end of the story?”

Ryo nodded. His thumb travelled to his lips, until he caught Levi’s sharp look.

“Princess Moonlight’s family come to bring her back to the moon, and they thank her family for looking after her. They’d been the ones to send the gold in the bamboo as thanks.”

“But why wasn’t she on the moon before?”

Levi hesitated. “She had been exiled from the moon after committing a crime, but now her time had been served. Her family didn’t believe it because they knew her for twenty years, and she’d never broken the law.” He didn’t know what manner of moon-law she’d broken, and he was disappointed the story had left that ridiculous information out.  

“But what about Princess Moonlight? They never saw her again?” Ryo pressed.  

Levi wondered if perhaps he should just make up new endings to all of these fucking stories until Ryo was older. At best, they were depressing and at worst, horrifying.

“No, I suppose not. But the happiness she brought into their lives was worth it. She left them better off than they were before.”

“Because they were rich now?”

“I’m sure they were pleased about the money, but also the light she gave them.” _Just like you did for me._ The thought slipped quietly into Levi’s mind, sneaky and light-footed like a thief. Eren probably would have said the words Levi struggled to speak.  

“What light?”

“The happiness. The bamboo cutter and his wife couldn’t have a child, but they’d found Princess Moonlight. She left in the end, but that doesn’t erase the years they had with her.”

Ryo still looked distressed. “But why did they take her away?”

“She had moon business to deal with. It’s meant to be a happy ending.” Levi rubbed his temples. It was late and he wanted to join Eren in bed.

“Can you tell me a better one?”

“No. That’s enough for one night.”

“Please, Levi. I don’t want to go to sleep yet.”

“Why?”

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what?” Levi prompted.

“The Titans.”

He’d expected something simpler. Innocent ghost stories told by friends, perhaps. “Where did you hear about the Titans?”

“Rose told us about them. During recess.”

Levi didn’t know who Rose was, but he wished she’d have shut her fucking mouth. They weren’t supposed to learn about the Titans until next year. Even then, it would be some pre-approved, carefully crafted crap. An attempt to nightmare-proof their history for children.

A tired voice from the doorway said, “The Titans have been gone for years. You don’t have to be afraid.” Eren leaned against the doorframe, stretching with a yawn. He’d clearly been asleep--hair still tousled, eyelids drooping, wearing only a pair of loose, cotton pants.

“Put on a shirt,” Levi told him.  

Eren ignored the comment, and wrapped his arms around Levi from behind for a brief hug. “Ry, are you giving Levi a hard time?”

“No.”

“Really?” Eren lay down at the end of the bed, sprawling out like a starfish. “You must be as tired as I am. We should all go to sleep.” No wonder Ryo thought the sun shone out of Eren’s ass, he had a gentle way with him.

“I just want one more story. Please?”

Most parents dreaded giving their children talks about puberty or sex. For Levi, though, it had always been the ‘Eren-was-a-Titan’ talk which filled him with trepidation. They had planned on waiting until he learned about them at school, but Levi had an idea.  

“We have time for one more story. A tale about the Titans.”

“Levi, it’s late...” Eren said.  

“I’ll keep it short.”

“You’re sure you want to do this now?”

“Yes. It’s a good story.”

Eren gave him a wary look, but nodded.

He was no storyteller, so Levi started the only way he could think to, “Once upon a time there was a boy from Shiganshina. A town just inside the first set of three walls that separated humanity from the Titans.”

Ryo knew the walls. Though they lived outside them, high atop a cliff overlooking the sea, the walls had never come down. Slowly, humanity had expanded beyond them, but they remained a stark reminder of the life they’d lived before.    

Eren shot Levi a perplexed look, but didn’t interrupt.   

“The boy longed for freedom from the walls, longed to destroy each and every Titan that stood outside of them, but he was young. There was nothing he could do. So he waited and waited.”

“What was he waiting for?”

“To join the Survey Corps. You know the Corps,” he said when Ryo looked confused. “Where Hanji and Armin work.”   

He was taking liberties with the order of events, but who the fuck cared about Eren’s time as a trainee or the option to join the Military Police or the Garrison?

“But what the boy didn’t know was that he himself was that which he hated most: a Titan. The boy promised he would help, that he would fight for humanity. So he was placed under the supervision of a soldier.”

A spark of interest flashed through Eren’s eyes. He searched Levi’s face, and Levi realised they’d never talked about those early days before.

“The soldier knew that the boy was a monster. Not because he was a Titan, but because there was something inside him that could never be tamed. The soldier decided to take a chance on the boy.”

Going back in time like this was strange. Hindsight influenced the way stories were told. The love he felt now, all the years since he’d let himself be swept up in Eren Jaeger, colored his old perceptions. He recalled the distrust, the indifference, but distantly. As though it were a story he’d been told by someone else.

“The soldier and the boy worked together and began to trust one another. Things were going as well as you could have hoped under the circumstances, until the boy was kidnapped by a dragon.”

Eren gave him a baffled look. Levi shrugged. He had take some liberties here, and besides, this was meant to be a fairytale.

“A dragon!” Ryo cried. “I love dragons.”

“Yes. They’re thrilling, but dangerous,” Levi said. “The soldier and his squad needed to find the boy quickly. Before it was too late.” There were a lot of irritating details he needed to maneuver around. Kenny, their relationship, the serum. He couldn’t exactly explain who the Military Police Brigade were let alone the Reiss family and Historia’s legacy. In fact, he’d left poor Historia out of the story altogether.

“How come they wanted to find him? If he was a monster?” Ryo asked.

“He was their best chance for fighting the other Titans.”

Eren winced, but Levi carried on, hoping he would understand once they reached the end of the story. _You’re not a monster, Eren. And Ryo won’t think you are either._

“They searched far and wide for the boy, and during their search they came upon two trolls in the woods. Under a bridge.” That was where trolls lived, right? “The trolls knew where the dragon’s lair was, but they refused to help. Until...the soldier answered a riddle.”    

At this point both Ryo and Eren looked utterly baffled by this turn of events. At least Eren wasn’t wincing anymore.

“What was the riddle?” Eren asked.

Levi waved a hand in dismissal. “I don’t remember.”

“This story is confusing.” Ryo covered his face in his hands. “Can you read one from that weird book again?”

“No,” Levi said.

“But you--the soldier--correctly solved the riddle,” Eren prompted, coughing to try to hide a laugh.  

“Sure.” Levi glared at Eren.

“Right. Please continue.” Eren waved a hand.

 _Fuck off, Eren,_ he thought.

“The riddle, whatever it may have been, was solved. The trolls revealed the location of the dragon’s lair.”

“What happened when they got there?” Ryo asked.

“The soldier found the boy in chains, the dragon about to devour him. The soldiers had to fight the dragon and his...dragonlings.”

“Wow,” Eren said. He smiled at Levi, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “What did these dragons look like, Levi?”

“Green. You know, with scales.”

“Thank you for the clarification. Carry on,” Eren said.

Levi rolled his eyes. “The soldiers slayed the dragon and the dragonlings, but they had no way out. The cave was collapsing around them. All hope seemed lost...until the boy made a decision.”  

The room was quiet. No interjections this time.

“He became a monster for them yet again, and he used his powers to harden himself and create a wall around the soldiers. The soldier was amazed,” Levi said, suddenly finding himself unable to look at Eren.

“So you see, in the end the monster wasn’t frightening.The monster had saved them all.”

Ryo looked doubtful. “He wasn’t?”

“No. The soldier--I--fell in love with him.” Levi glanced at Eren whose cheeks had reddened, the color accentuated by the glow of the candles. “Many years later, of course.” Eren rolled his eyes at the clarification.

The blanket hit Levi in the arm as Ryo leapt to his feet, at eye-level now that he was standing on the bed. “What! _You_?”

“Yes.”

“You fell in love with the monster?”

“Yes,” Levi repeated. “In fact, he made us dinner tonight.”

“The monster did not make us dinner!”

“Mm.” Levi nodded.

Ryo pointed at Eren accusingly. “You made us dinner!”

“Yes, I did.”

“You’re a Titan?”

“Well, not anymore. But I was.”

“How come you’re not anymore?”

“That’s a long story, and you’re not getting any more of those tonight.” Eren gave a pained smile, and Levi felt this story, too, had been a misstep. Perhaps not the romantic, and informative, gesture he’d intended.   

“I have one more question,” Ryo said.

“Go on then.” Levi sighed.

“Are...are they going to take me away? To the moon?” Levi didn’t miss the way Ryo shifted himself down under the sheets, eyes wide with fear.

“What?” Eren asked.

“The story you missed,” Levi said by way of explanation.  

“Right.” Eren gave Ryo a kiss on the forehead and pulled the sheets up, tucking him in carefully. Levi didn’t miss the glimpse of sadness he saw on Eren’s face. “We love you. No one is going to take you away to the moon, and no Titans are going to hurt you.”

“I’m gonna head back to bed,” Eren said. He had that faraway look on his face that Levi loathed, and he wished he could try to tell a different story. That there was a way he could ease Eren’s pain.

He wished too that Ryo could share his stories with them. He was still young enough that maybe he could avoid the painful paths that Levi and Eren had followed. It had led them to a happier ending than he’d ever dared dream, but a shadow would always be cast over them.

“I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep,” Levi offered.

Ryo’s thumb had found its way into his mouth again, but Levi let it be.

 

 

 

 

Eren wasn’t in their room when Levi came through. The doors leading to the balcony were open, and Levi found Eren with his head in his hands, the salty sea breeze stroking his hair.  

Just before Ryo came into their lives, they’d finished building their house together. Part of one of the larger settlements near the sea.

The balcony had been Levi’s idea. It belonged to Eren, though, and Levi often found him deep in thought, staring out at, or beyond, the ocean. Probably whispering the names of the dead to himself, face drawn and a hundred years older.  

“Who is it tonight?” Levi asked.

Eren’s back was to Levi, the muscles of his shoulders bunching as he hunched forward.

“All of them,” Eren said, voice choked with unshed tears. “Every single one.” He kept his gaze straight ahead even when Levi came to stand beside him. Levi wanted to shake Eren, to bring him back from wherever it was he’d gone.  

By now the seagulls were asleep, and the beach was quiet save for the foamy waves crashing gently on the sand. Levi liked quiet evenings when Eren fell asleep on his shoulder, listening to the lullaby of the sea.

Moving one of the small pots of flowers out of his way, he took a seat next to Eren on the wooden bench. He hadn’t meant it to stir up bad memories for Eren, but he should have guessed. He still managed to get these things wrong, no matter how much time went by.

He moved his hand to rest on Eren’s thigh, squeezing him through the cotton. “I was wrong about you,” Levi said.

“How do you mean?”

“You were never a monster.” He’d only called him that in the story to make a point, but he should have known better. “That’s what I was trying to say. The story was a fucking mistake.”

Eren still didn’t look at him.  “It wasn’t. I’m the one who’s fucked up here.”

“When I first met you, I knew that you’d killed those men when you were a kid. I thought it meant you were a monster long before you were a Titan, but you weren’t. You were just a child, and you were brave.” Ryo was only a few years younger than Eren had been then, he realised with horror.

“They deserved it,” Eren said, clenching his fist. “I _know_ they deserved it, and it didn’t bother me for a long time. At least, I didn’t think about it. I thought about killing the Titans, I gave it everything I had, and sometimes I think deep down I was always running. Freedom gave me hope that I could escape those feelings.”

Levi waited.

“But it’s different now. I think about all the blood on my hands, and I keep going back to that day. I know I had to save Mikasa, but there’s a lot of blood on my hands Levi, and that’s where it started. I’m still the monster at the end of the story.”

He touched Eren’s cheek. The hands that touched Eren gently now had once treated him with the kind of violence reserved for monsters. Even though it had been his job to demonstrate his power over Eren, regret could still find a way to suffocate Levi. He had no small part to blame for some of that lingering pain.  

If only everything between them had been as simple as going into the dragon’s lair to rescue Eren.  

“No,” Levi said evenly. “You’re not. You’re a man who finished a war that started long before he was even born. And you were a kid who protected someone who needed you.” The old wounds were scars now, but if you scratched them, they still bled. Forgiveness hadn’t come easy on either side. “If you’re a monster, so am I.”

Eren rubbed the back of his hand across his cheek, wet with tears. “Stop,” he choked out. “Or I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop crying.”  

Levi pulled him close, kissed the top of his head.

“Sometimes I think this is all just a dream, that I’m still a monster. I feel like I’ll wake up in my Titan, in the middle of the war, and I can’t breathe.”   

“I know.” In the middle of the night, Levi still woke up, disoriented and sure he was back in Marley.

You could build a beautiful life around you, a house above the sea, a beautiful child who’d finally gone to sleep, a balcony full of flowers, and still feel nothing but ugliness inside.

They sat there quietly. Levi could see clouds moving slowly across the sky, revealing and concealing the moon.

Eren broke the silence. “You know, Mikasa hates those kinds of fairy tales. The ones with princesses getting rescued by a knight. Won’t tell them to the kids.”

“Of course not.”

“She said the princess always marrying the knight who rescues her sends a bad message.” Eren rolled his eyes fondly.

“It does.”

“But that’s exactly the story you told.”

“No it’s not. I should have married Historia then,” Levi said.

“Probably,” Eren agreed. “A much better choice.”  

“It was never about choice.”

If Eren had been a choice, Levi never would have made it. Only a fool would have chosen the pain of loving Eren Jaeger, but he’d clawed his way under Levi’s skin and hurt him and healed him in ways no one else ever could. He burned for Eren.  

Levi had to bend to Eren, who was still hunched forward, elbows resting on his knees. Fingers curled under Eren’s chin, Levi kissed him tenderly.

When Eren opened his eyes, they were still rimmed red, but they’d lost that glazed, distant look.

 _I’ll always bring you back to me_ , Levi thought.

“Tell me another story,” Eren said, later, resting his head on Levi’s shoulder.

“Once upon a time there was a man who annoyed the shit out of me and refused to let me sleep.”

“Oh, I think I’ve heard that one before.”

“Let me tell it to you one more time then.” Interlocking their fingers, Levi stood. “But first, come to bed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [ Attraversiamo19 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/attraversiamo19/pseuds/attraversiamo19) and [ FluffyMusketeer ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffymusketeer/pseuds/fluffymusketeer/works) for being amazing betas! Seriously, just the best.
> 
> And to my wonderful [ shingekino_neon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shingekino_neon/pseuds/shingekino_neon) and [ Ageha_Sakura ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffymusketeer/pseuds/fluffymusketeer/works) for giving me some early feedback on this one and being such wonderful cheerleaders. 
> 
> You can find me on [ tumblr ](omglevixeren.tumblr.com).
> 
> Comments and kudos always so appreciated!


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